Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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