Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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