I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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