Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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