She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I will pee on everything he values.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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