Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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