Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize