I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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