he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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