He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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