ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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