using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize