She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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