Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
