Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize