I'm sorry my penis didn't work
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize