i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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