WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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