dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize