just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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