I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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