Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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