I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize