One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize