Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
