We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
