he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize