I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize