I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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