better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
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We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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