I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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