That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize