You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
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