I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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