i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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