Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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