I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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