i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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