lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize