Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize