WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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