You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
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I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize