Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
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He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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