SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
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My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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