Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
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Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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