alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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