what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
being pregnant is like rehab
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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