Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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