I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
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Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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