Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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