brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize